Either way , it seems like you’ve put as much thought into this as me, so cheers for not blindly following along either path without turning on a flashlight.

Yeah I’m pathetic like that

At my current stage in life, I’m not unhappy with any of my decisions, I’m financially comfortable, workwise I’m finally doing a desk-job that is not soul-destroying and interest-sapping (in fact, shock-horror, I’m actually enjoying it - something I didn’t think possible for my jaded self), I have a family and mortgage and lifestyle that I’m supporting whilst not hating myself in the process. All’s well that ends well, right?

Well, not exactly. Creativity and writing in particular was always a form of escapism for me from the stuff that I DIDN’T enjoy, the mindless slog of a corporate position, the mind-numbing analytical work I was doing, or whatever. I suffer from a dual problem that: a) I have nothing necessarily to escape from and output is for output’s sake, and b) given that I’m happy and content otherwise, I’d be sacrificing time from those things that I’m quite happy doing to pursue something that may never eventuate.

None of this changes the fact that my head is swirling with ideas, I have plots brewing in my head that are literally 5 years in conception and (to me, anyway) are amazing, I have imagery and scenes that I feel are the kind that stay with you long after the screen goes dark… so I’m fighting against this intrinsic desire to share my creativity and the likelihood that (even if I devoted all the time and energy to penning it) it ever would be shared.

The fact that you’re trying to justify your inner procrastinator should be a dead giveaway! Can you not start smaller, rather than aiming for Hollywood scripts off the bat?

The angle that most people frame their responses around usually takes the form of: “if you like doing it then it’s worth doing” and “if you are genuinely creative you will create regardless”.

Both of these sentiments are equally misguided in my opinion, I’m rather pragmatic in nature but also a fundamental realist - my common sense weighs down any heady dreams of creativity breaking through all boundaries.

I’m not fooling anyone if I try to suggest that getting a big budget script through Hollywood is an easy feat. It’s openly recognised as being one of the toughest nuts to crack in the world. If I am spending all my time and energy devoted to something that people being full-time writers and full-time social networkers can’t manage, why should I do it?

I guess that’s where I’m coming from. My inner procrastinator is seeking an excuse to quit, my creativity prevents me from forgetting on a daily basis as my brain is constantly swamped with imagery and my stories keep percolating in my subconscious, but worse than all these, my real-life routine does not allow for much in the way of writing and I’m trying desperately to motivate myself to MAKE the time but when I do evaluate the problem logically it makes little sense to do that because of all the above.

Even if you don’t do it full-time, keep writing. If you like it, do it. If it happens to be published and give you millions, so much the better.